The pandemic has shut my industry down. Movie theaters continue to be close and I continue to be unemployed because with no movies there is no marketing and no me. All those years of contributing to the state's unemployment till are now being called upon by me. I am grateful for it and grateful for my hubby who is working.
When you are out of work you are constantly bombarded with the message "Do what you love." You are also bombarded with the words "get a job." In fact, the governments asks you every two weeks if you have looked and while the answer is always yes for me, for one year it hasn't resulted in an offer which kind of hurts one's feelings if it must be known.
Finding a job and finding one that you love is the dream but not necessarily one everyone can afford. There are a lot of jobs out there and if you can get past the robots, find the right recruiters and eating ice cream while hanging upside down, you might be called for an interview and then you gotta convince them that you can do what they want you to do. Hunting for a job is a difficult process one that can be totally deflating. You read a ton of listings and ask yourself is that me? Then you read the requirements and you ask yourself, can I do that? Your 20 years of experience seems like nothing when all the ads ask for 5-7 years. You can't help but wonder if the prime of your life is over? I submit the application anyway because you never know when your number will come up, when your resume will get through, when you will get a call full of opportunity. But it is sort of like being pregnant when your are 36. They treat you different.
I haven't really had to hunt for a job in the past. Usually, in entertainment it is all about networking but this time, everyone is out of work and the jobs are not just movies, they are streaming and digital gigs. The big question my industry is pondering is will TV streaming replace theater going? No one knows but I still need a job.
I totally get the saying "Do what you love." I mean if you are going to spend 40-60 hours of your life each week doing something it should be something you love. But you read CNN, you watch the news you look around and not everyone can be "picky." People gotta get paid. They got take care of their families and they gotta pay rent. When you look around these days you see how totally unequal everything really is and you wonder why 323 million people are not out in the streets protesting the unfairness. But that is another blog for another time. I am tired of politics but it seems to force it's way into every bit of life these days including this blog.
So what is next? It's a question that is elusive but I PTA, I volunteer, I look for jobs, I email old colleagues, I do a ton of dishes, I wash a lot of clothes, I help with classwork and homework. I walk the dog and suddenly the day is over and it starts again. Basically, I just keep moving. When I ask myself what I am passionate about writing generally comes to mind. I have often wondered how one gets paid for it. I guess it is a matter of pursuing it like any other things in life but is sort of seems at a top of a mountain. But if you don't climb the mountain, you don't get anywhere, so there is that. You just gotta keep on swimming like little Dory says. You gotta keep moving and you just gotta do.
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