Continued from previous post
...The nurse went to order me some drugs and all I could think of was I better dig in cuz it would be a long night in the hospital if I was only 1 cm dilated. The nurse came back and told me she contacted the anesthesiologist. The nurse taking care of me was hard core in nature. She was nice but not too into soothing my apparent pain. I got the distinct feeling that she thought I was a wuss and could have easily said "Oh, suck it up!" Suffice to say, I was not only in pain but annoyed with my nurse.
As it was, I couldn't think about that nurse too much as the contractions were more intense. It felt like forever before the anesthesiologist woman came with her drugs aka the epidural. The nurses told hubby he had to leave for the procedure and I think hubby was glad but nervous. All I knew about the epidural was that it was something they had to jab into your back. In fact it is a big needle they jab in your back to numb your back before inserting a small wire into your back that supplies the pain meds. The one stipulation about putting it in is that you have to remain absolutely still. You can't move because they are putting the wire near your spine and alas, its not something you want them to f*** up.
With hubby gone and the words "staying still" lingering in my head I wasn't sure how this procedure was going to go. I was in the most pain I have ever felt in my life and this lady wanted me to stay still? I think my hard core nurse knew I was about to wuss out and she grabbed my arms and said "Look in my eyes." She said it with such force that I dare not disobey her. So I looked in her eyes and I didn't move. I can't remember what she said but whatever she said hypnotized me and I stayed still until that wire was in my back. After it was done and that first pump of pain relief came flowing through my back I was grateful for that hard core nurse as I needed her to make it through that moment.
With the epidural administered hubby was able to come back in the room. In a matter of moments the lower part of my body was numb. All I could feel was minor movement in the tips of my toes. Suffice to say I was in a lot better mood once the drugs kicked in. The anesthesiologist woman gave me a push button that I could push if I need additional doses od pain meds. The stipulation in using it was that I had to ask the nurse first before I pushed the button. The push button was rigged so that only I could push the button. I found that fact interesting.
With the pain all the sudden gone I was in a lot better mood. I was in an even better mood when my new nurse came in and told me I was not only progressing, I was now at 3cm dilated but that the other woman I came in with was sent home. The fact that she was sent home didn't make me feel wussy anymore because I knew that woman was in too good of mood to be in labor. My new nurse got me ice chips and attended to me and hubby's needs. She was just what I needed at that stage of labor. She continued to check me as the hours progressed. It got to be 8pm and I was already 9 cm dilated. It appeared that I might give birth that night.
Bt everything changed at 10pm. I got to be fully dilated at 10cm at 10pm and the nurse said my doctor wasn't going to come in because my water hadn't broke yet which was weird because I was fully ready to push if it had been broken. They could break it but they wanted the baby's head to be lower than it currently was. With December 11th out as a birthday, hubby and I fell asleep for 4 hours. I awoke at 2am on December 12th when the nurse came in my room to check on me. She said I just had a big contraction. It wasn't a surprise to me as I had felt it. Seemed I need to push that epidural button as the pain meds were wearing off. But before I got the okay to push the pain med button the nurse wanted to check my nether regions again. This time when she went in a large pop and a burst of water occurred. The burst was so loud and apparent that it woke my husband up.
The nurse and I laughed our heads off as the burst of water went everywhere. It was just short of getting us both wet in the face. After she cleaned me up I asked about pushing the button of the meds and she said she didn't want me to because it was time to push. What do you mean I ask? She says, "It's time to push the baby out and you need to be able to feel the contraction so you can push." OH!!!! I say.
So there ei am in bed with my legs pulled up to my chin and the nurse telling me to push when the contraction starts. Now I am not sure how epidurals work but every part of my lower region was numb except for my lower left abdomen which could feel the contraction which started to hurt like hell. I think the pushing was only supposed to take a few minutes but I pushed in the most excruiating pain for 2 hours. I knew things were getting difficult when she started saying "push this way." Despite feeling the contractions my too hah was numb and I couldn't feel the baby coming out. So for her to say push this way or that way was meaningless. It was also hard to push in general because I couldn't feel what I was pushing. I was just hoping I was grunting hard enough. The nurse was concerned about eh baby's head. It never seemed to get low enough and when it did drop it would go back up in-between contractions. After 2 hours the nurse went to get the head nurse who was introduced to me as being on staff for 30 years. After the head nurse checked out my nether regions she concluded that the baby's head was stuck. She was looking up instead of down. My nurse told her superior she didn't want me pushing anymore as I had been through enough and that is when the head nurse said call her doctor and order the csection.
I was in so much pain that my original objection to a csection was no longer. In fact, I never signed my name so fast on papers giving my concent for surgery. After signing my name I begged to push the pain med button.The nurse let me but I could see in her eyes it wasn't going to help and after pushing it and waiting through more pain the relief never came. I thought surely I was dying and started screaming at the top of my lungs. I knew there was no one else on the floor but me and the nurses that night so I yelled and yelled and yelled. Other nurses came in and I begged them to hurry the anesthesiologist. They must of felt my pain because i heard one of the nurses call downstairs and ask how much longer. My little team of nurses wheeled me out of the labor room and into the surgery room. I recognized the room from my past two surgeries at St. Joes. Buy even the recognition didn calm my fears nor my pain. It took a good 10 minutes for the anesthesiologist to get the drugs ready and another 5 minutes for the drugs to actually kick in. By the time I was numb I was laying on a gurney with my arms out like Jesus on the cross. There was a big sheet in front of me covering me so I couldn't see past my breasts.
All I knew was I was scared as hell and I couldn't keep from shaking. This wasn't how I planned the birth to go and I was uneasy. All I could think about was complications and possibly dying or worse yet, my daughter dying. I am sure it wasn't helpful of me to read a CNN report two days earlier on a woman dying of complications from a csection. Thinking this might be it I couldn't smile nor relax. Even though I couldn't feel a thing as they cut into me I couldn't relax. The anesthesiologist came over to me and told me my heart was elevated and I needed to calm down. I tried but I couldn't so she injected me with some drug. It helped for a while but it is extremely uncomfortable being operated on with your arms out in Jesus pose. In fact I bent them and brought them up to my face and the anesthesiologist lady told me to stop it.
Anxiety aside I listened to the two OB's (mine and another one - as they always have two surgeons perform sections) talk about their golf game. Then I felt them tugging on me and grunting. It took four tugs before I felt like she was out. Again I got worried when I heard the grunting and the pulling as it seemed like her head being stuck was an issue. But I heard the word when she came out and then I heard the nurse ask "Is it a boy or a girl?" I was sudden jerked back to reality and thought "What do they mean...Is it a boy or a girl?" "It's a girl right?" Then they confirmed it was a girl. One of the nurses called hubby over to the nurses station where they were dealing with the baby.
I think he was just as scared as me in the one glance we shared. But he left and in a matter of minutes I heard her crying. It dawned on me that it had been a little while since she came out and I asked myself why she hadn't cried earlier. I heard the nurses performing several functions on the baby, all the while talking to my husband. There was a lot of talk going on. 
There were the nurses conversations, the conversation between hubby and a nurse and the two OB's till working on my stomach. Even though the baby was out the two doctors continued to work on me and stitch me up. It was the oddest, most surreal moment of my life. I was awake but in a dream at the same time.
I was so nervous, scared and stressed out by the whole affair I wasn't sure I wanted to see my daughter. I mean I wanted to see but I didn't. The moment didn't seem real and I was scared. Hubby finally brought her over for me to see but not hold. I saw her for a brief two minutes before the nurses took her back.
When she left that is when I heard a nurse ask the doctor about my daughter's ambilicord as it was quite unique. The head nurse, the one who had 30 ears experience couldn't get over my daughter's cord. The nurses and doctors progressed to have a conversation about how rare my daughter's cord was. I finally found the courage to speak up (I was too busy shaking from anxiety) and ask what the hoopla was about the umbilical cord. The nurse brought the cord over to me and showed me that the blood vessels were on the outside of the cord. They are supposed to be on the inside. The cord she brought me looked like a white strip with worms going in and out of the white cord. It looked very alien like. My OB had heard of this happening and said it was very very rare. While he had heard of it occurring he had never seen one before. The head nurse never asked me but rather proclaimed she was keeping the specimen to share with students. I was so doped up I never thought to ask if I could have it.
Minutes later the nurses guided hubby to the nursery with the baby. Once again, I was alone in the room with two doctors talking about golf and the rain.
The fact that it rained that morning comforted me. It rained on my wedding day and people said that was good luck so perhaps rain on your birthday was good luck too. It was in that moment I felt like perhaps I was wasn't going to die on this gurney in a Jesus pose. I finally calmed down and began to feel guilty that perhaps to wasn't a good mothering for me to be scared to meet my baby. While pondered that thought the doctors finalized my stitches. The whole surgery probably took about 45 minutes. It took longer for the doctors to stitch me up then it did for them to take the baby out.
After thanking the staff, I was wheeled out of surgery and into recovery. Typically in recovery you can sleep but I ran into a nurse I knew. I had meet her during one of my many trips to labor and delivery after failing stress tests. We started chatting it up as she checked my stats. After talking for about 10 minutes she was called to a meeting. When she came back she was talking about my umbilical cord. Apparently she has just gone to a meeting where they showed my umbilical cord.
To be continued...
...The nurse went to order me some drugs and all I could think of was I better dig in cuz it would be a long night in the hospital if I was only 1 cm dilated. The nurse came back and told me she contacted the anesthesiologist. The nurse taking care of me was hard core in nature. She was nice but not too into soothing my apparent pain. I got the distinct feeling that she thought I was a wuss and could have easily said "Oh, suck it up!" Suffice to say, I was not only in pain but annoyed with my nurse.
As it was, I couldn't think about that nurse too much as the contractions were more intense. It felt like forever before the anesthesiologist woman came with her drugs aka the epidural. The nurses told hubby he had to leave for the procedure and I think hubby was glad but nervous. All I knew about the epidural was that it was something they had to jab into your back. In fact it is a big needle they jab in your back to numb your back before inserting a small wire into your back that supplies the pain meds. The one stipulation about putting it in is that you have to remain absolutely still. You can't move because they are putting the wire near your spine and alas, its not something you want them to f*** up.
With hubby gone and the words "staying still" lingering in my head I wasn't sure how this procedure was going to go. I was in the most pain I have ever felt in my life and this lady wanted me to stay still? I think my hard core nurse knew I was about to wuss out and she grabbed my arms and said "Look in my eyes." She said it with such force that I dare not disobey her. So I looked in her eyes and I didn't move. I can't remember what she said but whatever she said hypnotized me and I stayed still until that wire was in my back. After it was done and that first pump of pain relief came flowing through my back I was grateful for that hard core nurse as I needed her to make it through that moment.
With the epidural administered hubby was able to come back in the room. In a matter of moments the lower part of my body was numb. All I could feel was minor movement in the tips of my toes. Suffice to say I was in a lot better mood once the drugs kicked in. The anesthesiologist woman gave me a push button that I could push if I need additional doses od pain meds. The stipulation in using it was that I had to ask the nurse first before I pushed the button. The push button was rigged so that only I could push the button. I found that fact interesting.
With the pain all the sudden gone I was in a lot better mood. I was in an even better mood when my new nurse came in and told me I was not only progressing, I was now at 3cm dilated but that the other woman I came in with was sent home. The fact that she was sent home didn't make me feel wussy anymore because I knew that woman was in too good of mood to be in labor. My new nurse got me ice chips and attended to me and hubby's needs. She was just what I needed at that stage of labor. She continued to check me as the hours progressed. It got to be 8pm and I was already 9 cm dilated. It appeared that I might give birth that night.
Bt everything changed at 10pm. I got to be fully dilated at 10cm at 10pm and the nurse said my doctor wasn't going to come in because my water hadn't broke yet which was weird because I was fully ready to push if it had been broken. They could break it but they wanted the baby's head to be lower than it currently was. With December 11th out as a birthday, hubby and I fell asleep for 4 hours. I awoke at 2am on December 12th when the nurse came in my room to check on me. She said I just had a big contraction. It wasn't a surprise to me as I had felt it. Seemed I need to push that epidural button as the pain meds were wearing off. But before I got the okay to push the pain med button the nurse wanted to check my nether regions again. This time when she went in a large pop and a burst of water occurred. The burst was so loud and apparent that it woke my husband up.
The nurse and I laughed our heads off as the burst of water went everywhere. It was just short of getting us both wet in the face. After she cleaned me up I asked about pushing the button of the meds and she said she didn't want me to because it was time to push. What do you mean I ask? She says, "It's time to push the baby out and you need to be able to feel the contraction so you can push." OH!!!! I say.
So there ei am in bed with my legs pulled up to my chin and the nurse telling me to push when the contraction starts. Now I am not sure how epidurals work but every part of my lower region was numb except for my lower left abdomen which could feel the contraction which started to hurt like hell. I think the pushing was only supposed to take a few minutes but I pushed in the most excruiating pain for 2 hours. I knew things were getting difficult when she started saying "push this way." Despite feeling the contractions my too hah was numb and I couldn't feel the baby coming out. So for her to say push this way or that way was meaningless. It was also hard to push in general because I couldn't feel what I was pushing. I was just hoping I was grunting hard enough. The nurse was concerned about eh baby's head. It never seemed to get low enough and when it did drop it would go back up in-between contractions. After 2 hours the nurse went to get the head nurse who was introduced to me as being on staff for 30 years. After the head nurse checked out my nether regions she concluded that the baby's head was stuck. She was looking up instead of down. My nurse told her superior she didn't want me pushing anymore as I had been through enough and that is when the head nurse said call her doctor and order the csection.
I was in so much pain that my original objection to a csection was no longer. In fact, I never signed my name so fast on papers giving my concent for surgery. After signing my name I begged to push the pain med button.The nurse let me but I could see in her eyes it wasn't going to help and after pushing it and waiting through more pain the relief never came. I thought surely I was dying and started screaming at the top of my lungs. I knew there was no one else on the floor but me and the nurses that night so I yelled and yelled and yelled. Other nurses came in and I begged them to hurry the anesthesiologist. They must of felt my pain because i heard one of the nurses call downstairs and ask how much longer. My little team of nurses wheeled me out of the labor room and into the surgery room. I recognized the room from my past two surgeries at St. Joes. Buy even the recognition didn calm my fears nor my pain. It took a good 10 minutes for the anesthesiologist to get the drugs ready and another 5 minutes for the drugs to actually kick in. By the time I was numb I was laying on a gurney with my arms out like Jesus on the cross. There was a big sheet in front of me covering me so I couldn't see past my breasts.
All I knew was I was scared as hell and I couldn't keep from shaking. This wasn't how I planned the birth to go and I was uneasy. All I could think about was complications and possibly dying or worse yet, my daughter dying. I am sure it wasn't helpful of me to read a CNN report two days earlier on a woman dying of complications from a csection. Thinking this might be it I couldn't smile nor relax. Even though I couldn't feel a thing as they cut into me I couldn't relax. The anesthesiologist came over to me and told me my heart was elevated and I needed to calm down. I tried but I couldn't so she injected me with some drug. It helped for a while but it is extremely uncomfortable being operated on with your arms out in Jesus pose. In fact I bent them and brought them up to my face and the anesthesiologist lady told me to stop it.
Anxiety aside I listened to the two OB's (mine and another one - as they always have two surgeons perform sections) talk about their golf game. Then I felt them tugging on me and grunting. It took four tugs before I felt like she was out. Again I got worried when I heard the grunting and the pulling as it seemed like her head being stuck was an issue. But I heard the word when she came out and then I heard the nurse ask "Is it a boy or a girl?" I was sudden jerked back to reality and thought "What do they mean...Is it a boy or a girl?" "It's a girl right?" Then they confirmed it was a girl. One of the nurses called hubby over to the nurses station where they were dealing with the baby.
I think he was just as scared as me in the one glance we shared. But he left and in a matter of minutes I heard her crying. It dawned on me that it had been a little while since she came out and I asked myself why she hadn't cried earlier. I heard the nurses performing several functions on the baby, all the while talking to my husband. There was a lot of talk going on. 
There were the nurses conversations, the conversation between hubby and a nurse and the two OB's till working on my stomach. Even though the baby was out the two doctors continued to work on me and stitch me up. It was the oddest, most surreal moment of my life. I was awake but in a dream at the same time. I was so nervous, scared and stressed out by the whole affair I wasn't sure I wanted to see my daughter. I mean I wanted to see but I didn't. The moment didn't seem real and I was scared. Hubby finally brought her over for me to see but not hold. I saw her for a brief two minutes before the nurses took her back.
When she left that is when I heard a nurse ask the doctor about my daughter's ambilicord as it was quite unique. The head nurse, the one who had 30 ears experience couldn't get over my daughter's cord. The nurses and doctors progressed to have a conversation about how rare my daughter's cord was. I finally found the courage to speak up (I was too busy shaking from anxiety) and ask what the hoopla was about the umbilical cord. The nurse brought the cord over to me and showed me that the blood vessels were on the outside of the cord. They are supposed to be on the inside. The cord she brought me looked like a white strip with worms going in and out of the white cord. It looked very alien like. My OB had heard of this happening and said it was very very rare. While he had heard of it occurring he had never seen one before. The head nurse never asked me but rather proclaimed she was keeping the specimen to share with students. I was so doped up I never thought to ask if I could have it. Minutes later the nurses guided hubby to the nursery with the baby. Once again, I was alone in the room with two doctors talking about golf and the rain.
The fact that it rained that morning comforted me. It rained on my wedding day and people said that was good luck so perhaps rain on your birthday was good luck too. It was in that moment I felt like perhaps I was wasn't going to die on this gurney in a Jesus pose. I finally calmed down and began to feel guilty that perhaps to wasn't a good mothering for me to be scared to meet my baby. While pondered that thought the doctors finalized my stitches. The whole surgery probably took about 45 minutes. It took longer for the doctors to stitch me up then it did for them to take the baby out. After thanking the staff, I was wheeled out of surgery and into recovery. Typically in recovery you can sleep but I ran into a nurse I knew. I had meet her during one of my many trips to labor and delivery after failing stress tests. We started chatting it up as she checked my stats. After talking for about 10 minutes she was called to a meeting. When she came back she was talking about my umbilical cord. Apparently she has just gone to a meeting where they showed my umbilical cord.
To be continued...
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