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Hello? Is Anyone Out There?

I used to follow a lot of blogs but it seems no one is writing anymore. FaceBook and Twitter must have killed the medium. I don't blame the blog writers, keeping up a blog is a lot of work. Sometimes I feel like quitting myself. Mainly because I can't really talk about certain things on my mind. You never really know who is reading your blog and heaven forbid anyone find out how crazy I really am. I ponder going back to my journals so I can write about the depressing thoughts that plague my mind from time to time. But then turning on the computer is so much easier than pulling the book out of some secret drawer and sitting down to write. And after all, the depressing thoughts usually go away leaving me feeling silly for feeling that way in the first place. So what's the sense of writing down the silly thoughts anyway? I do know one thing that will never be fixed whether I go back to journaling or continue blogging and that is I am and forever will be a horrible speller! You'd think that for as many years that I have been writing I would have improved. But no, I still suck. I still can't decide when and where to use a comma, or when I am slipping in and out of tenses. Heck, I can't even seem to find the spell check button. I guess that is the lazy writer in me. For me, writing helps get life's stresses out. Before blogging I did the journal/diary thing. I did that since I was 12 years old. That equals a whopping 23 years of drivel, crying and whining. What I can't believe is that I have been doing it since a 6th grade teacher made us keep a journal. A task, at the time, I thought to be a nightmare and a half. Why a woman would demand that each of us write page after page of stuff was beyond me. Furthermore, I didn't even like that teacher so the fact that I continue something from her class is even more amazing! I guess the blog, the journal, the diary for me, is about keeping track of my journey. I gotta think the journey matters. Because if it doesn't what the heck are we doing here? Just some boring after effect of cells merging together and thousands of years of evolution? I gotta make sure I am learning something and more importantly that I am doing enough to give back. If I can inspire someone to to do something good aka to "pay it forward" my soul will be happy. Every so often I get the box of old journals out and read a section or two. It's that nagging self reflection feeling I get. I guess that is why I continue to write. But man sometimes I wish I could really say what was on my mind. I would like to write down what I was feeling yesterday but it's too embarrassing for a blog. I guess I will let it fester in the back of my mind. So blog, while you fuel me in my aspirations to inspire people you do not always elevate the stresses of my mini depressions that set upon me. Oh well, that is life, always offering two sides to every situation. Hum. It's like LOST. Is this blog the white side or the black side? Is blogging better than journaling? Like with LOST who knows?

Comments

steve Rusca said…
Nice!! I like it. If it makes you feel better "It's all good". Miss you. Me Steve

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