Yesterday, one of my roommates from the Burbank years gave birth to a little girl. This is her third child. While I am so completely happy for her this happy celebration has gotten me thinking about children and nosey people who ask me when I am going to have them.
Some might think this subject is it too personal for blog talk but I figure if people want to bud into my business by asking me about kids then I can bud into yours by talking about them. I realize that I am physically old enough to have kids but being physically old enough isn't enough for me. Today, as I looked at my friend's blog describing her birthing experience, I realized the only reason I am thinking about children so much lately is because so many darn people are asking me about them. Every single friggin day I run into "Patty" at work. I have known her for a very long time and while I know she was super happy for me when I got married, I am so not happy about her enthusiasm about me having babies. In fact I do all I can to avoid her lately because I am seriously sick of her asking me when am I going to reproduce.
Why do so many people feel the need to tell other people to procreate? Are they afraid the human race is going to die out? Because right now, that doesn't seem to be a possibility with growing population rates. I guess people are never satisfied with what a person accomplishes to date. Otherwise, they wouldn't feel the need to ask so many intrusive questions. When I was single, people ask me when I was going to have a boyfriend. And if I said I don't know they would go on to ask if something was wrong. When I was dating someone, people would ask when I was going to get engaged? My response of "When I find the right one" would lead to "Well, don't you think you should be thinking about that next stage in life?" (I hated this reply because it implied I had power over when I was getting engaged). I got married and now people bug me about kids. "So when are you and the Hub going to have one?"
You want to know what I say to that in my head? "I hate you and why are you asking me this question which isn't a question but a query into my opinion on having children?" I would be ok with people asking me "So when are you and the Hub going to have one?" if it didn't lead to a ton of other questions about my philosophies on children. If I say, "not right now" or "we are not sure" that doesn't suffice. I am truly bewildered at how incredibly rude some people are with their questions. "Patty" may think it's fun to ask me about kids but when she starts to push "Isn't it time to have kids?" in front of other colleagues, who lean in to hear my answer, in my book, her questioning has gone to far.
Really, when did people start thinking its ok to get up in other people's business about having children? Did I miss something when I was born? Did I sign a contract with God saying that as a woman I must produce kids? Heaven forbid you tell someone you are on the fence or gasp, that maybe kids aren't not in the cards for you. Have people forgotten that you can have perfectly normal and fun lives without kids? Yes, they have because if you say you are on the fence or gasp, not in the cards then you are immediately labeled as "selfish."
I enjoy kids, but are people who don't want to have kids wrong in not having any? Is our sole purpose on earth to procreate? I hate to see miserable kids and if you don't think you can make a kid happy then why should someone be forced by society to have one? So many people have kids they can't take care of. Why should I bring a kid into the world because it is what I am supposed to do once you get married?
Anyhoo, next time you are chatting remember it's not polite etiquette to ask intrusive questions. You might mean well but you could be hurting someone's feelings. You people will be the first to know if I decide to have kids but for now, don't ask. I am seriously tired of people asking on a daily basis.
Some might think this subject is it too personal for blog talk but I figure if people want to bud into my business by asking me about kids then I can bud into yours by talking about them. I realize that I am physically old enough to have kids but being physically old enough isn't enough for me. Today, as I looked at my friend's blog describing her birthing experience, I realized the only reason I am thinking about children so much lately is because so many darn people are asking me about them. Every single friggin day I run into "Patty" at work. I have known her for a very long time and while I know she was super happy for me when I got married, I am so not happy about her enthusiasm about me having babies. In fact I do all I can to avoid her lately because I am seriously sick of her asking me when am I going to reproduce.
Why do so many people feel the need to tell other people to procreate? Are they afraid the human race is going to die out? Because right now, that doesn't seem to be a possibility with growing population rates. I guess people are never satisfied with what a person accomplishes to date. Otherwise, they wouldn't feel the need to ask so many intrusive questions. When I was single, people ask me when I was going to have a boyfriend. And if I said I don't know they would go on to ask if something was wrong. When I was dating someone, people would ask when I was going to get engaged? My response of "When I find the right one" would lead to "Well, don't you think you should be thinking about that next stage in life?" (I hated this reply because it implied I had power over when I was getting engaged). I got married and now people bug me about kids. "So when are you and the Hub going to have one?"
You want to know what I say to that in my head? "I hate you and why are you asking me this question which isn't a question but a query into my opinion on having children?" I would be ok with people asking me "So when are you and the Hub going to have one?" if it didn't lead to a ton of other questions about my philosophies on children. If I say, "not right now" or "we are not sure" that doesn't suffice. I am truly bewildered at how incredibly rude some people are with their questions. "Patty" may think it's fun to ask me about kids but when she starts to push "Isn't it time to have kids?" in front of other colleagues, who lean in to hear my answer, in my book, her questioning has gone to far.
Really, when did people start thinking its ok to get up in other people's business about having children? Did I miss something when I was born? Did I sign a contract with God saying that as a woman I must produce kids? Heaven forbid you tell someone you are on the fence or gasp, that maybe kids aren't not in the cards for you. Have people forgotten that you can have perfectly normal and fun lives without kids? Yes, they have because if you say you are on the fence or gasp, not in the cards then you are immediately labeled as "selfish."
I enjoy kids, but are people who don't want to have kids wrong in not having any? Is our sole purpose on earth to procreate? I hate to see miserable kids and if you don't think you can make a kid happy then why should someone be forced by society to have one? So many people have kids they can't take care of. Why should I bring a kid into the world because it is what I am supposed to do once you get married?
Anyhoo, next time you are chatting remember it's not polite etiquette to ask intrusive questions. You might mean well but you could be hurting someone's feelings. You people will be the first to know if I decide to have kids but for now, don't ask. I am seriously tired of people asking on a daily basis.
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