I am in a funk. I admit it. My days have been boring and so have my evenings. I don't do well with slow because it gets my brain thinking and I have incredibly high standards for myself. Does anyone else feel like they are on a mission and they desperately need to complete it before the time is up? Well, I always feel like I am on a mission and sadly right now, I feel like mission control is loosing their way. At first glance, I think the only thing wrong with me is that my brain needs some stimulation. Work has been incredibly slow. It usually gets this way after the summer blockbusters have opened but it feels like it is lasting a lot longer than normal. Most people would probably rejoice in the break but not me. There are only so many YELP reviews a girl can write in her spare time. Then there is home. Hubby is working nights. I am not normally a person who needs to be babysat and requires attention but lately I find myself needing that attention. Perhaps because I am bored during the day and come home and I am equally bored waiting for something amazing to happen. I find the only stimulating conversation I have is my half hour talks with hubby at night to recap exactly how much I am not doing with myself. I have been trying to keep myself busy with things I like to do and it works for a while but then a day or two goes by and I am back in a funk. It probably doesn't help that this has been the worse allergy season I have ever experienced. None of the drugs they advertise or sell in the store help me. I feel groggy, my lungs hurt from coughing and generally I am just tired. I am constantly thinking of that movie "How Stella Got Her Grove Back" which I never saw but for which is making me think increasingly more that I had a groove and now have lost it. This morning I am going to go to the spa and I am going to sit there and steam and think about that groove and how I can get it back. To be honest, I pretty much know what is wrong but it's hard to do anything about it. How does one get that passion for a dream back when one has been so completely disappointed by that dream and can't imagine that dream ever being the same now that it has been tainted? How do you fix something you know how to fix but in order to fix it, you have to do something that seems so completely out of reach? That is my main dilemma. Well, maybe the jacuzzi can help me figure it out and help me refocus?
One momma's experiences in the City of Angels.
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