As I will be in Fresno tomorrow, I wanted to take a moment, a day early, and wish my mother a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Also, I want to wish the rest of you a very MERRY CHRISTMAS! My mother, bless her soul, is not up with progress, as in the technological kind. She has no idea what the internet is, except that it's that thing she checks her work schedule on. And I'm pretty sure my dad made an easy shortcut so she only has to click a button and whalla she gets her schedule. I have tried many times to explain to her how easy it is to turn on the computer, open up the internet and type in www.brokencandy.com but try as I may I have had no luck to date.
I am pretty sure she is waiting for me to jump on plane to come show her, but you see, I refuse to go home until my parents get cable. It's a little boycott I have. Perhaps my mother is boycotting my boycott by refusing to learn about the internet? I have tried over the years to get the parents to purchase cable yet they still give me that line of crap of only needing 3 channels to watch. I try and tell them that those three channels (and many others) would come in clear hence getting rid of the need to get up and turn the antenna on the roof, but nope, they don't buy it.
I tell them about personal email accounts and how handy they are to communicate with people you don't see everyday (um, like me who lives on the other side of the country). And to my dad's credit, he opened up accounts for him and my mother. Only about two days later Gmail shut down my dad's account for being a spammer. Do the Gmail people know what the f**k they have done? Now I am never going to get my dad to get another account because the one friggin' time he listened to me he was labeled a spammer. Like dear old dad is a scammer! Are you wondering why dad was blocked? The real and truthful answer is because he tried to send out a mass email to his church choir. Yes, I said that right, his church choir! Nope, he didn't try to send out porn or create a link to scam your bank account numbers, nope, the man, who hates technology in his home but is a computer programmer/takes cares of the governor's email and various government email accounts at work (yes, I don't understand) was trying to tell some people when to show up for choir practice.
Not sure how Gmail confused rounding up Catholics with spamming? I shouldn't be so sarcastic, of course there are so many religious scams out there. Get them! Get those religious scammers! But doesn't my dad have a work email account you ask??? He does, but he doesn't like me emailing him because the government will find out he has a daughter. Argh! (Ok, this is the only rebute of his I will buy as I can understand not wanting to get email on your work account but this is why having a personal account is all the more important, so you can check that account at work instead). Anyhoo, a shout out right now to Gmail. I want to thank you very much Gmail for hindering my relationship with my parents. I don't think mum's Gmail account ever clicked with her, as I have yet to get an email from her without knowing my dad hit the send button. I continue to bug her to get with the program. It's friggin' 2009 for goodness sake! She needs to send out a ton of useless garbage like everyone else. Oh!, how she is missing out on those "25 ways to get to know you" emails and those "can you believe this picture?" or better yet, "why God Loves me" emails.
Since I struck out with the internet, got no where with cable and thanks to Gmail will never send another personal note to my parents, I decided to focus my efforts on the cell phone. Perhaps, I would have better luck with my parents' technological revolution via this medium. Crazy me, I thought if I can get my mother to like it then she will force my dad into one of those family plans. In order for me to pull off this genius plan, I decided to enlist my brother. So for Mother's Day we got her this pay as you go cellphone with plenty of minutes. I guess I have to be grateful that mom does use the cell phone we got her though I am not quiet sure she has embraced the technology yet. Her voicemail is still not up and she tells me she turns it off when she is at work and at other occasions so the ring doesn't interrupt whatever she is doing. Breathe. Breathe. I try and tell her she is supposed to be reachable all the time, that is the point. But she is only sold on the safety feature of having a cell phone. Well, at least she buys that concept otherwise I'd be in trouble. I must say I love the genius' at AT&T who thought of making those rechargeble phone cards. See the card we bought mom expired after 3 months. Of course she didn't use all the minutes because as luck would have it I have AT&T and when we talk its free. So she had to buy a $100 phone card (in order to transfer her remaining minutes) as this is the only card that doesn't expire. I figure this card will last her at least 5 years so at least I can be assured she will have a cell phone for that long.
Alas!! My whole point of this blog was that while my dear, sweet mother may not up with the technology of the modern world she does go out of her way to read my blog every single day. This is incredibly modern of her you say. Well, not exactly. You see, my father, bless his soul, prints it off from the computer everyday for her to read. How do I know this? Well, funny you ask. My brother called me and he tells me that he and his wife enjoy listening to my blog. Listening I say? "Yeah, we go to mom's house and she reads it to us." Forget the needle I want to stick in my eyeball, at this point I just can't help but laugh at my efforts to bring technology to my parents life. Why bother because in the end they will find an old fashion way to use it. Bless their souls. My heart is warmed to know that my blogs are getting the "town hall" attention they so deserve! Additionally, Mum also tells me (on her cell phone) that she sends (the printed blogs) to my grandma. (Shout out to Grandma!! Hi!) Again, I can't help but be touched that in a small way the United States Postal Office is benefiting from my blogging. At least I am doing my part for the economy. Anyhoo, I am sure by now, my dad is mortified that I brought up this subject but my whole point of this blog was to wish my technological handicap mother a very Happy Birthday. Mom, I love you despite you driving me crazy with your refusal of technology. I hope you have a fabu birthday!!! PS I will call you on your cell phone on your birthday, please make sure to have it turned on. Love you.
I am pretty sure she is waiting for me to jump on plane to come show her, but you see, I refuse to go home until my parents get cable. It's a little boycott I have. Perhaps my mother is boycotting my boycott by refusing to learn about the internet? I have tried over the years to get the parents to purchase cable yet they still give me that line of crap of only needing 3 channels to watch. I try and tell them that those three channels (and many others) would come in clear hence getting rid of the need to get up and turn the antenna on the roof, but nope, they don't buy it.
I tell them about personal email accounts and how handy they are to communicate with people you don't see everyday (um, like me who lives on the other side of the country). And to my dad's credit, he opened up accounts for him and my mother. Only about two days later Gmail shut down my dad's account for being a spammer. Do the Gmail people know what the f**k they have done? Now I am never going to get my dad to get another account because the one friggin' time he listened to me he was labeled a spammer. Like dear old dad is a scammer! Are you wondering why dad was blocked? The real and truthful answer is because he tried to send out a mass email to his church choir. Yes, I said that right, his church choir! Nope, he didn't try to send out porn or create a link to scam your bank account numbers, nope, the man, who hates technology in his home but is a computer programmer/takes cares of the governor's email and various government email accounts at work (yes, I don't understand) was trying to tell some people when to show up for choir practice.
Not sure how Gmail confused rounding up Catholics with spamming? I shouldn't be so sarcastic, of course there are so many religious scams out there. Get them! Get those religious scammers! But doesn't my dad have a work email account you ask??? He does, but he doesn't like me emailing him because the government will find out he has a daughter. Argh! (Ok, this is the only rebute of his I will buy as I can understand not wanting to get email on your work account but this is why having a personal account is all the more important, so you can check that account at work instead). Anyhoo, a shout out right now to Gmail. I want to thank you very much Gmail for hindering my relationship with my parents. I don't think mum's Gmail account ever clicked with her, as I have yet to get an email from her without knowing my dad hit the send button. I continue to bug her to get with the program. It's friggin' 2009 for goodness sake! She needs to send out a ton of useless garbage like everyone else. Oh!, how she is missing out on those "25 ways to get to know you" emails and those "can you believe this picture?" or better yet, "why God Loves me" emails.
Since I struck out with the internet, got no where with cable and thanks to Gmail will never send another personal note to my parents, I decided to focus my efforts on the cell phone. Perhaps, I would have better luck with my parents' technological revolution via this medium. Crazy me, I thought if I can get my mother to like it then she will force my dad into one of those family plans. In order for me to pull off this genius plan, I decided to enlist my brother. So for Mother's Day we got her this pay as you go cellphone with plenty of minutes. I guess I have to be grateful that mom does use the cell phone we got her though I am not quiet sure she has embraced the technology yet. Her voicemail is still not up and she tells me she turns it off when she is at work and at other occasions so the ring doesn't interrupt whatever she is doing. Breathe. Breathe. I try and tell her she is supposed to be reachable all the time, that is the point. But she is only sold on the safety feature of having a cell phone. Well, at least she buys that concept otherwise I'd be in trouble. I must say I love the genius' at AT&T who thought of making those rechargeble phone cards. See the card we bought mom expired after 3 months. Of course she didn't use all the minutes because as luck would have it I have AT&T and when we talk its free. So she had to buy a $100 phone card (in order to transfer her remaining minutes) as this is the only card that doesn't expire. I figure this card will last her at least 5 years so at least I can be assured she will have a cell phone for that long.
Alas!! My whole point of this blog was that while my dear, sweet mother may not up with the technology of the modern world she does go out of her way to read my blog every single day. This is incredibly modern of her you say. Well, not exactly. You see, my father, bless his soul, prints it off from the computer everyday for her to read. How do I know this? Well, funny you ask. My brother called me and he tells me that he and his wife enjoy listening to my blog. Listening I say? "Yeah, we go to mom's house and she reads it to us." Forget the needle I want to stick in my eyeball, at this point I just can't help but laugh at my efforts to bring technology to my parents life. Why bother because in the end they will find an old fashion way to use it. Bless their souls. My heart is warmed to know that my blogs are getting the "town hall" attention they so deserve! Additionally, Mum also tells me (on her cell phone) that she sends (the printed blogs) to my grandma. (Shout out to Grandma!! Hi!) Again, I can't help but be touched that in a small way the United States Postal Office is benefiting from my blogging. At least I am doing my part for the economy. Anyhoo, I am sure by now, my dad is mortified that I brought up this subject but my whole point of this blog was to wish my technological handicap mother a very Happy Birthday. Mom, I love you despite you driving me crazy with your refusal of technology. I hope you have a fabu birthday!!! PS I will call you on your cell phone on your birthday, please make sure to have it turned on. Love you.
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